<nettime> Stubbornness - The man in andropause [Uli Hannemann]

[David Herzog via nettime-l <nettime-l@lists.nettime.org>]

The man in andropause

Stubbornness [Uli Hannemann]

https://blog.igel-muc.de/?guid=20250920

It has to be enough at some point. Vegetables, feminism, new spelling rules. 
Intimate hygiene: please, no more new stuff! All this modernist nonsense is 
fucking up my brain and makes the world a worse place, in other words, a more 
confusing and shit world for me. I already know everything a man needs to 
know: how to pull a spark plug with my teeth, how the chicks tick and how to 
fire a bazooka. That's enough.

Uli Hannemann: »Oh No, Boomers«
When Things Suddenly Get Better In The Past

One day, the mature man comes to the conclusion that he no longer needs to 
learn anything new, not to mention experience anything new. After all, he has 
already experienced everything, and, hand on heart, most of it was 
superfluous and not particularly pleasant anyway. Above all, however, new 
things are stressful. At some point, enough is enough with the stress. Why 
did we go through eight or ten or even thirteen agonising years of school, 
plus overtime? It has to be enough at some point. Vegetables, feminism, new 
spelling rules. Intimate hygiene: please, no more new stuff! All this 
modernist nonsense is fucking up my brain and makes the world a worse place, 
in other words, a more confusing and shit world for me. I already know 
everything a man needs to know: how to pull a spark plug with my teeth, how 
the chicks tick and how to fire a bazooka. That's enough.

Brandt or Strauß, Geha or Pelikan, Beatles or Stones, Rakers or Zervakis, the 
most important decisions in life have long been taken, the course is set. Why 
form an opinion when I already have one? And it fits every new topic – with a 
gentle hammer blow, every piece of any puzzle fits into its place.
My wife often tells me to move. but I already moved once. I also don't need 
to move house. I already have a place to live. I don't want to meet new 
people either, I already know some. Or rather, I used to know some. When they 
started to disagree with me, I unfriended and blocked them. It was all done 
the old-fashioned way – we exchanged a few cheeky remarks and then stopped 
answering the phone.

People used to say I was inflexible, stubborn and obstinate. I'll take that 
as a compliment. After all, the german word for stubborness, »Starrsinn« is 
only three letters away from »Starksinn« - strong-mindedness.

»Weak-minded loses keys, strong-minded wins wars«, my clever urologist 
Zbigniew recently quoted a Masurian bon mot while gently decalcifying my 
urethra with a hot knitting needle.

And he's right: of course I'm always right about everything. This is ensured 
by my life experience, which has the great advantage of being well and firmly 
conserved and not, as is the case with so many young people, stirred up by 
constant input and therefore lastingly clouded. Even ‘discourse’ and ‘ 
reasoning’ are just synonyms for ‘spinelessness’ and ‘indecisiveness’. Now 
this, now that.

The flighty mice could learn a lot from my ironclad principles. With me, 
things aren’t one way today and another tomorrow. They’re always the same. 
And that is yesterday.

---

German Book:

Oh no, Boomers!
When Things Suddenly Get Better In The Past

The ageing man Uli Hannemann has a tougher going than many people think. His 
hormones are going haywire, his wife has left him, and his best friend is now 
his urologist. The clown in his menopause no longer has a clear sense of the 
world. What does the heterosexual white middle-aged man go for when he's not 
ageing unattractively or bluffing his way through sausage stands with 
salacious remarks and mansplaining? Is there a little black heart beating 
somewhere deep beneath this mountain of rotten flesh, malice and 
stubbornness?

Sartyr Verlag | First Edition 2020 | ISBN 978-3-947106-64-6

all the best
david herzog
--
# distributed via <nettime>: no commercial use without permission
# <nettime> is a moderated mailing list for net criticism,
# collaborative text filtering and cultural politics of the nets
# more info: https://www.nettime.org
# contact: nettime-l-owner@lists.nettime.org